Saturday, May 8, 2010

Downright Biblical Sometimes

Despite his athletic prowess, my husband Slurpico has had more surgeries than anyone I know. He plods on, going to work when most people would be in bed.

One morning he dressed in a suit and tie and headed for the morning commute with his arm in a sling. As he was backing out of the driveway he heard a commotion down the street. He looked toward the rumbling noise and thought he saw a runaway horse and buggy coming his way.

We live on the corner of a busy highway and he was concerned the horse would ignore the stop sign and dash into heavy traffic. So he exited his car and ran into the road in a gallant attempt to halt it.

Only when he was in the middle of the road, straddling the yellow line, did he realize it was no horse and buggy. He had put himself directly in the path of two massive Belgian draft horses. They each weighed over a ton and were headed his way at top speed. They were yoked together and had made a berserk attempt to flee a nearby Amish farm. As they approached he could see their nostrils flaring. Their eyes were as large as soft balls and were rolling around wildly. They were like beasts from the Old Testament. He naturally feared he would be mowed down right then and there. Nevertheless, not wanting them to collide with a semi truck barrelling down the main highway, he stood his ground. He put out his hand like Moses parting the Red Sea and yelled YO!!!

And just like that they stopped on a dime. They fell to the ground like Eore. The skid marks are still out there in the road. Slurpico breathed a sigh of relief, and then pondered what to do next. The horses stood up and stared at him, and then looked at each other. They proceeded to do a little dance. The horses stepped to the right, and Slurpico moved to block. They moved the left, and Slurpico tapped danced with them.

The Amish farmer, a stocky man with a red beard, ran up. His children rolled in on scooters. The horses were tangled together and were spooked, but the man rounded them up.

He asked Slurpico, "Are you a horse wrangler?" He replied that indeed he was not. The man asked him how he stopped them. He told him he just put out his hand and yelled YO!!! The farmer stood amazed and shared that he is the only Amishmen in the area who uses that command to stop his horses. One of his daughters said, "Praise be to God!"

Slurpico got in his car and went to work. Just another day in Lancaster. Come on home Johnny. It gets downright biblical here sometimes. We can use you-with your ability to walk on water and all.


  1. Oh, Shelley! I am laughing so hard right now! I certainly didn't grow up in Amish country but I did grow up on a farm so I can relate to runaway beasts! This is classic, especially since I can really visualize it! You do have a way with words my dear!
    Keep em' coming!

  2. Great story. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Excellent! And I especially love the last paragraph. :)